This week, carers across South Australia are sharing their stories as part of Foster and Kinship Carer Week (14-20 September), which recognises the vital role they play in the child protection and family support system.
Kiwi family blossoms in Fleurieu tree-change
Caption: Shane, Hannah, Jacqui and Christian at the family’s Fleurieu Peninsula farm. Picture: Natalie Harrison Photography and Art.
Life on the farm Jacqui shares with her family looks much different to her world as a busy advertising executive in New Zealand – but she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Jacqui, her husband Shane and their children moved to South Australia 12 years ago when Shane took up a fly-in-fly-out job at BHP’s Olympic Dam.
The move inspired Jacqui to look for a meaningful role allowing the couple to spend time together when Shane was home, and she became a specialist foster carer, looking after children with complex needs.
“It was something Shane and I had always talked about, but we wanted to have our own children first,” she says. “I wanted something flexible, where I could also be helping someone.”
The Department for Child Protection is sharing the family’s story as part of Foster and Kinship Carer Week (14-20 September), which celebrates the vital role carers play in child protection.
For the past eight years, Jacqui and Shane have cared for Ngarrindjeri boy Nathan*, now 15, and they’ve loved watching him find his place on their flower farm.
“(Nathan) does everything with us – when we go go-karting, he goes go-karting and if we go out for dinner, he comes out with us – we do it all as a family,” she says.
“He’s also been back to New Zealand a couple of times with us.”
The couple’s biological children Christian and Hannah have both formed strong relationships with Nathan, who loves getting his hands dirty on the farm.
“Growing into a teenager, (Nathan) has gravitated towards a male role model and he’s out on the farm with Christian a lot,” Jacqui says. “He’s his idol.”
At first, Nathan, who has an intellectual disability, wasn’t proud of his Aboriginal heritage. But over the years, Jacqui has noticed a considerable turnaround in his connection to culture.
The family live on Ngarrindjeri land, and Nathan is now part of an Aboriginal training academy through school, which involves cultural activities and camps and helps young people gain valuable life skills.
“We’re always getting feedback from his school about how much he’s grown and come a long way,” Jacqui says.
The 58-year-old, who has previously cared for several other children, says her role as a specialist carer has come with plenty of challenges due to the children’s complex needs.
These have included supporting children through significant mental health and behavioural challenges, and working through fears spurred by previous traumatic experiences.
“I’ve learned that I can be quite good at advocating for the little guys,” she says.
“I just have to be the squeaky wheel, in a nice, consistent way, and I’ve had no complaints about the system helping me when I’ve needed it.”
Jacqui and Shane are supported by foster care agency Key Assets.
During Foster and Kinship Carer Week, DCP and its foster care agency partners are hosting about 20 events across the state to thank carers for opening up their hearts and homes to children.
For more information about foster care, head to fostercare.sa.gov.au or call 1300 2 FOSTER (1300 2 367 837).
*Name has been changed for privacy reasons
Globetrotting engineer finds meaning as a foster mum
Caption: Rebecca, of Mount Gambier, is caring for two sisters. Picture: Karen McKay
Helping care for a friend’s baby daughter made it crystal clear that Rebecca didn’t need a biological connection to feel love for a child.
Fast forward about two decades, and the Mount Gambier woman has swapped travelling the globe and engineering work to become a dedicated foster carer.
“My friend had a daughter after going into labour on her 21st birthday,” Rebecca says.
“I developed this amazing relationship with the little one, and I’d step in when she was struggling and try and get her to take a break.
“Through that process, I realised you don’t need biology to love a kid unconditionally. I loved that kid with all my soul. She was a really special part of who I am.”
Rebecca, 43, supported by foster care agency ac.care, now provides long-term care for two sisters aged six and eight.
She previously spent about six years as a respite carer – a role she took on through a desire to support children and families, rather than working her life away.
“I was working at the Coke factory (in Adelaide) and it was a 12-hour day, and I thought, ‘What’s the point – why am I spending my life making a multinational company more money? This is not what life’s about’.”
The engineer, who has travelled to 44 countries and spent about a year working in New Zealand before the pandemic hit, says life looks much different as a full-time carer.
“I was relatively organised and now I live in chaos … but being there for the children is what matters.”
Caring for children has always come naturally for Rebecca, who during her university years, worked in after school hours care and took vulnerable children on camps.
“It’s so amazing to be able to sink so much love into these children, who have so much anguish and fears, and see them develop these amazing personalities,” she says.
“You sacrifice a lot, but that love and trust from a child is worth gold. When they run to you and throw their arms around you and you realise they feel safe, that’s what life is about.”
Rebecca has cared for about 15 children in SA and Victoria, including recently, a baby who has now reunited with her family.
More the merrier in southern family’s household
Caption: Lisa and Mathew have cared for seven children in kinship and foster placements. Picture: Meali Bug Photography
Carer Lisa is accustomed to having a very busy home, saying she’d “take on an army” of children if she could.
Lisa, 44, and her husband Mathew, 46, have three biological children and have also cared for seven others through kinship and foster care placements.
“We’re an active family and I just love spoiling all of my children,” Lisa says.
“I’ve always had so many kids around – they all play together.
“I just want to help them and give them opportunities that they may never have had before.”
The southern suburbs couple, who have cared for their great nephew for about 10 years, were finalists in the Kinship Carer of the Year category of this month’s SA Child Protection & Family Support Awards.
Lisa and Mathew also previously cared for another of their great nephews, and began looking after other children on a respite, emergency or short-term basis, through DCP’s Additionally Approved Care Program. That program helps find family-based placements through kinship carers willing to care for unrelated children – in some cases, preventing children from going into residential care.
One toddler who came to live with Lisa and Mathew was reunited with her extended biological family after almost a year.
When she arrived, at just under two years old, the little girl was unusually independent for her age, Lisa says, but she relished seeing her develop and learn that she could depend on trusted adults.
“(For example), she would put her own shoes and socks on,” Lisa says. “When she first came to us, she’d gorge her food, but then she learned that wasn’t normal – that we eat all the time and she could have snacks if she wanted.
“Every morning I’d sit with her on her bed and do her hair for her. And every night, one of us would sit with her while she went to sleep. She just needed that reassurance that someone was there.”
Seeing her reunited with her family was “very rewarding, but tough at the same time”, Lisa says.
“We had a really good bond and when she left, she was thriving.”
Riverland carer finds many rewards in her vital role
Foster carer Rachel is a self-described “kid magnet”, having cared for up to six children at once in her Riverland home.
She has two biological daughters, aged 32 and 30, and a son, 19, and has also fostered seven other children, including a 13-year-old girl who still lives with her today.
“I had my first daughter when I was 18, and I’ve always loved having kids around,” Rachel says.
“I just like being busy and I’m a very active person, so we’re always doing something. We spend a lot of time down the river and go fishing and camping, or we’ll pick one of the Riverland towns and go for a drive and get an ice-cream.”
When her daughters were teenagers, she had six children at home – the two girls, her son, her daughter’s friend and two children aged under two, who she was fostering.
“Three teenage girls and one bathroom – that was interesting,” Rachel says. “It was just crazy busy. The girls argued a little – someone borrowing their clothes or hogging the hair straightener or spending too long in the shower.
“But everyone enjoyed each other’s company and they helped each other with their homework and we’d play games together at night time.”
Rachel last year returned to the Riverland after spending eight years living in Adelaide so she could be closer to healthcare services for foster daughter *Hannah.
At times, Hannah spent weeks, or even several months, in hospital due to her complex healthcare needs, but the family is now in a position where they’re better equipped to care for her in the Riverland, where Rachel grew up.
“I just like the idea that we’ve been able to provide a good life for a child that otherwise wouldn’t get to have a good life,” says Rachel, who is supported by foster care agency Life Without Barriers.
She initially considered sticking to offering respite care, but realised she was capable, and keen, to take on children’s full-time care.
“I couldn’t imagine my life not having done it – my life would have been just work and home, but going into the fostering I had the kids to look after and we were very busy and had fun.
“I’m grateful that we found (Hannah) and she found us – she’s just been a blessing.
“She’s given my Mum a new lease on life – she lights up whenever she’s around her, and she helped look after her when she was little and she loved it.”
Life Without Barriers Chief Executive Officer Claire Robbs says foster and kinship carers providing a safe, stable and loving home for children, could help change a child’s life trajectory.
“For children and young people, having a carer who can provide emotional support, stability, and a safe space to call home can have a huge impact on their health and wellbeing to set them up for a bright and happy future,” she says.
*a pseudonym has been used for privacy reasons
Life ‘more fun’ for Whyalla couple with grandkids in tow
Floss and Peter were empty nesters for less than a year before their grandchildren came to live with them – and say a big positive of their role as kinship carers is “you don’t have to grow up”.
The Whyalla couple have cared for the two boys, aged 8 and 10, for the past six years.
While it has meant they have had to make sacrifices, such as missing out on some social occasions and travelling as a couple, they wouldn’t change it for the world.
“We get so much more back because they give us a reason to get out – we don’t have to grow up,” says Floss, whose legal name is Joan, but she earned her nickname because of her curly hair.
“We travel with them and they make it more fun.”
The family have travelled overseas for each of the last three festive seasons, to Vanuatu, Fiji and, Bali, where they spent a day at the popular Waterbom Park.
“We don’t want the boys to miss out because we’re older, so we go on everything, even though I don’t want to because I don’t like heights,” Floss says.
She recalls getting to the top of a daredevilish ride on a windy day with one of her grandsons. “I said, ‘I love you, but right now, I don’t like you’, and he said, ‘God, Grandma, I love you!’.”
Floss, 63, and Peter, 75, have enjoyed opening up the boys’ eyes to various cultures and helping them understand how lucky they are to have the lifestyles they do in Australia.
“Kids would come off the street in their dance costumes (in Bali) and I’d say to (the boys), ‘They’re actually working, earning money to give to their families’,” Floss says.
When the boys arrived at the couple’s Whyalla home, Floss and Peter quickly prepared their house, first adding a sandpit, then later, as the boys grew older, an above-ground pool, and then a firepit.
“Now we’re having fires and having friends over and going fishing. We’ll get barbecue chickens and some fresh bead rolls and go to Point Lowly and have a day out there fishing.
“We have a pop-top caravan and we’ll go out to the beach, and we’ve taken them to the theatre (in Adelaide) to see Frozen and Beauty and the Beast.”
Life as a kinship carer does have its challenges, Floss says, but the boys add a value to their lives that “you can’t put a price on”.
“I learned early in life that life changes all the time without warning – we have to make the most of every moment.”
Floss says one of her grandsons says, “We may not be a normal family, but we have a lot of fun”. “And I say, ‘we can’t ask for anything more than that’.”
Riverland carers open up their hearts and homes
Carers Jamie and Ben. Picture: Loveday Studio
Working in residential care, Jamie wanted to see young *Noah, who had a lot of love to give, receive just as much back in return.
So just over a year ago, Jamie, 26, and her fiancé Ben, 29, invited Noah to live with them at their Riverland home.
“He’s such a kind and caring child and very loving, and he deserved all of the love that he was trying to give out to someone else,” Jamie says.
After several meet-and-greet occasions with Ben, the couple became Noah’s carers under a Specific Child Only (SCO) placement, which is similar to foster care, involving people who already know each other.
Noah, who is “full of energy, loud, and very fun”, fit in with the family from word go, Jamie says, even though she describes herself and Ben as “quiet people”.
“(Noah) and Ben really love playing games and footy together, and we love going camping and fishing, and out for bushwalks,” she says.
“Some days, it’s crazy to think that we’ve just started off with an 11-year-old. You think you know what to do and then there’s a curveball thrown at you, but we’re good at communicating with each other and working things out to best support him.
“Any time we’re away from him, even if it’s just for a day, we miss him.”
Jamie was motivated to become a child and youth worker after spending several years in care herself.
She still regularly catches up with her carer Betty, referring to her as “auntie” – and wanted to provide the same safety and security she received during her care experience, for somebody else.
Jamie, who now works for Aboriginal Family Support Services (AFSS) in foster care assessment and support, says she’s loved watching Noah develop since he came to live with the couple.
“He didn’t have a lot of social skills before, but now, he’s had so many experiences outside and he’s just come out of his shell a lot more and he’s wanting to do things out in the community, and go to friends’ houses, and just live that normal life,” she says.
Jamie and Ben will tie the knot next month on the Great Ocean Road, with Noah playing a special role as ring bearer.
“Ben has four nieces and they were already (Noah’s) friends at school and now he refers to them as his cousins. Our families love him to bits,” Jamie says.
Unable to have pets in his residential care home, he is more than making up for that, with a dog, two cats and a bird.
*A pseudonym has been used for privacy reasons